some things i've already said so many times that i dun feel like saying anymore...and anyway i get the feeling u're not interested in listening to what i have to say...my nightmares sound very mild and i may joke about them, but by telling u about them i'm actually trying to tell u my insecurities...
u know, i started eating pills knowing about the possible side effects, but what i din expect was u (who were the main reason i'm even eating them) laughing at my pimples, poking them even knowing they are painful. why do u have to do such things sometimes?
i know sometimes maybe my fears are unreasonable...but how about listening to me for once instead of just saying that i'm "jealous"? if i'm jealous, it's cos during term time, u spend more time with ur friends than me. u said friends 40% and gf 60%? i highly doubt so...
when sch starts, u have lessons with them...eat meals with them...go out and have fun with them...okay sure. projects time, u start spending even more time doing projects with them. exams time, u start spending ur time with them studying. so where do i come into the picture?
u know, my mum said before that when she was giving birth to my sis, her father-in-law asked my father (his son, her husband) to accompany her to the hospital. he refused but eventually went reluctantly, cos he wanted to go jalan jalan with his friends instead, while his wife is giving birth to their eldest child alone. i dun want that to happen to me...for my closest one to be with his friends or not even around when i need him.
i dun want to always be the last u know...maybe i'm being unreasonable, but cant u just reassure me and put up with me instead of brushing me off? i guess one should always learn to be independent...dun rely on ur close ones to console u, cos they are most likely to be the ones who made u down in the first place.
why do i feel so different from when we first started out? i was actually quite happy all along, until these little things started adding up...yeah u said u haven seen ur friends for very long...u realise it was just 1-2months at most? and u actually chatted while i was wondering what was taking u so long to collect some notes...yeah i know she's very good, helped u printed notes and even brought them to ur house...but to continue chatting like i din exist, while i was waiting?
if ur friends can get more attention and time from u, i think i would rather be ur friend. at least then i would be more important.
*thisismymagicaltale*