Wednesday, October 29, 2008
*found this in PPF. personally found it quite true and touching so...here u go. =] warning:long post ahead.
To the nice girls who are overlooked, who become friends and nothing more, who spend hours fixating upon their looks and their personalities and their actions because it must be they that are doing something wrong.
This is for the girls who don't give it up on the first date, who don't want to play mind games, who provide a comforting hug and a supportive audience for a story they've heard a thousand times.
This is for the girls who understand that they aren't perfect and that the guys they're interested in aren't either, for the girls who flirt and laugh and worry and obsess over the slightest glance, whisper, touch, because somehow they are able to keep alive that hope that maybe this time he'll have understood.
This is homage to the girls who laugh loud and often, who are comfortable in skirts and sweats and combat boots, who care more than they should for guys who don't deserve their attention.
This is for those girls who have been in the trenches, who have watched other girls time and time again fake up and make up and f*** up the guys in their lives without saying a word.
This is for the girls who have been there from the beginning and have heard the trite words of advice, from "there are plenty of fish in the sea," to "time heals all wounds."
This is to honor those girls who know that guys are just as scared as they are, who know that they deserve better, who are seeking to find it.
This is for the girls who have never been in love, but know that it's an experience that they don't want to miss out on. For the girls who have sought a night with friends and been greeted by a night of catcalling, rude comments and explicit invitations that they'd rather not have experienced.
This is for the girls who have spent their weekends sitting on the sidelines of a beer pong tournament or a case race, or playing Florence Nightingale for a vomiting guy friend or a comatose crush, who have received a drunk phone call just before dawn from someone who doesn't care enough to invite them over but is still willing to pass out in their bed.
This is for the girls who have left sad song lyrics in their away messages, who have tried to make someone understand through a subliminally appealing profile, who have time and time again dropped their male friend hint after hint after hint only to watch him chase after the first blonde girl in a skirt.
This is for the girls who have been told that they're too good or too smart or too pretty, who have been given compliments as a way of breaking off a relationship, who have ever been told they are only wanted as a friend.
This one's for the girls who you can take home to mom, but won't because it's easier to sleep with a bitch than foster a relationship; this is for the girls who have been led on by words and kisses and touches, all of which were either only true for the moment, or never real to begin with.
This is for the girls who have allowed a guy into their head and heart and bed, only to discover that he's just not ready, he's just not over her, he's just not looking to be tied down; this is for the girls who believe the excuses because it's easier to believe that it's not that they don't want you, it's that they don't want anyone.
This is for the girls who have had their hearts broken and their hopes dashed by someone too cavalier to have cared in the first place; this is for the nights spent dissecting every word and syllable and inflection in his speech, for the nights when you've returned home alone, for the nights when you've seen from across the room him leaning a little too close, or standing a little too near, or talking a little too softly for the girl he's with to be a random hookup.
This is for the girls who have endured party after party in his presence, finally having realized that it wasn't that he didn't want a relationship: it was that he didn't want you.
I honor you for the night his dog died or his grandmother died or his little brother crashed his car and you held him, thinking that if you only comforted him just right, or said the right words, or rubbed his back in the right way then perhaps he'd realize what it was that he already had.
This is for the night you realized that it would never happen, and the sunrise you saw the next morning after failing to sleep.
This is for the "I really like you, so let's still be friends" comment after you read more into a situation than he ever intended; this is for never realizing that when you choose friends, you seldom choose those which make you cry yourself to sleep.
This is for the hugs you've received from your female friends, for the nights they've reassured you that you are beautiful and intelligent and amazing and loyal and truly worthy of a great guy; this is for the despair you all felt as you sat in the aftermath of your tears, knowing that that night the only companionship you'd have was with a pillow and your teddy bear.
This is for the girls who have been used and abused, who have endured what he was giving because at least he was giving something; this is for the stupidity of the nights we've believed that something was better than nothing, though his something was nothing we'd have ever wanted.
This is for the girls who have been satisfied with too little and who have learned never to expect anything more: for the girls who don't think that they deserve more, because they've been conditioned for so long to accept the scraps thrown to them by guys.
This is what I don't understand.
Men sit and question and whine that girls are only attracted to the mean guys, the guys who berate them and belittle them and don't appreciate them and don't want them; who use them for *** and think of little else than where their next conquest will be made. Men complain that they never meet nice girls, girls who are genuinely interested and compelling, who are intelligent and sweet and smart and beautiful; men despair that no good women want to share in their lives, that girls play mind games that girls love to keep them hanging.
Yet, men, I ask you: were you to meet one of these genuinely interested, thrillingly compelling, interesting and intelligent and sweet and beautiful and smart girls, were you to give her your number and wait for her to call... and if you were to receive a call from her the next day and she, in her truthful, loyal, intelligent and straightforward nice girl fashion, were to tell you that she finds you intriguing and attractive and interesting and worth her time and perhaps material from which she could fashion a boyfriend, would you or would you not immediately call your friends to tell them of the "stalker chick" you'd met the night prior, who called you and wore her heart on her sleeve and told the truth?
And would you, or would you not, refuse to make plans with her, speak with her, see her again, and once again return to the bar or club or party scene and search once more for this "nice girl" who you just cannot seem to find?
Because therein lies the truth, guys: we nice girls are everywhere. But you're not looking for a nice girl. You're not looking for someone genuinely interested in your intermural basketball game, or your anatomy midterm grade, or that argument you keep having with your father; you're looking for a quick fix, a night when you can pretend to have a connection with another human being which is just as disposable as the condom you were using during it.
So don't say you're on the lookout for nice girls, guys, when you pass us up on every step you take. Sometimes we go undercover; sometimes we go in disguise: sometimes when that girl in the low cut shirt or the too tight miniskirt won't answer your catcalls, sometimes you're looking at a nice girl in *****'s clothing - - we might say we like the attention, we might blush and giggle and turn back to our friends, but we're all thinking the same thing: "This isn't me. Tomorrow morning, I'll be wearing a teeshirt and flannel shorts, I'll have slept alone and I'll be making my hungover best friend breakfast. See through the disguise. See me."
You never do. Why?
Because you only see the exterior, you only see the slutty girl who welcomes those advances. You don't want the nice girl.. so don't say you're looking for a relationship: relationships take time and energy and intent, three things we're willing to extend - - but in return, we're looking for compassion and loyalty and trust, three things you never seem willing to express.
Maybe nice guys finish last, but in the race they're running they're chasing after the bitches and the sluts and the easy-targets... the nice girls are waiting at the finish line with water and towels and a congratulatory hug (and yes, if she's a nice girl and she likes you, the sweatiness probably won't matter), hoping against hope that maybe you'll realize that they're the ones that you want at the end of that silly race.
So maybe it won't last forever. Maybe some of those guys in that race will turn in their running shoes and make their way to the concession stand where we're waiting; however, until that happens, we still have each other, that silly race to watch, and all the chocolate we can eat (because what's a concession stand at a race without some chocolate?)
By Jessica Leigh Griffith
Copyright 2004-2005 by Jessica Leigh Griffith
*thisismymagicaltale*
hurhur seems like these few days i'm updating everyday. x.x but today cannot dun update otherwise celine will xin yang yang! =x but i shall leave that to the last part hiak hiak...went for piu session today again, was supposed to meet at 2 but luckily i haven gone out yet cos celine din reply me. -.- then heng kint said postponed to 345...in the end xin was the earliest and i was the 2nd even though i was 15mins late. o.o
then waited...and waited...finally celine and izu came. but today so many ppl piu-ing also...x.x only remembered playing and playig...then cant remember much cos i think i fell asleep with my eyes open. T.T after that went to have chicken rice for dinner...and kint attempted to tell some qian bian jokes (which i think werent appreciated cos nobody bothered to guess T.T). hurhur...after that went back to arcade again...
OH YEAH did i mention someone asked celine for her number?? hiak hiak hiak...throughout the whole thing i pretended to be passer-by A and refused to look at celine. LOL. after piu-ing again we went to mac to crap (not literally)...hm and on the way there i actually got knocked on the head by kint's bottle. so if tmr i go into a coma...u all know who's responsible. x.x
okay here comes the part celine is waiting for...while she was at the counter changing money we put a 5-cent coin into her shoe key chain (ie keychain in the shape of a shoe). then when she came back the following conversation came about...(not the exact words though).
celine: eh how come got 5-cent coin in my shoe. O.O i got put it inside meh...
while the rest of us pretends to be deaf...
then izu attempted to tell her the truth and told her "no lah is we put de". i think she misheard or something...cos she said no lah she wont so bo liao go put 5cent coin inside for what. o.o then blahblahblah...i forgot what i said but celine replied "can u use ur brain??"...and we all started laughing. cos she was actually shooting herself neh...LOL. a bunch of funny ppl x.x
PS celine cant be medical staff so next time if ur wife/sis/friend is in labour in a leap year's feb...dun let celine near her pls!! =x
*thisismymagicaltale*
Saturday, October 25, 2008
so tired...x.x NOTE: MAY ALL LURKERS PLEASE TAG!! lolz. =x anyway, wasnt feeling very well on my way to sch today, but i realise being cooped up in an air con classroom for 2hrs and freezing to death is a nice way of making a speedy recovery. x.x after sch went home to slack for awhile before going to meet xin dar and celine at outram mrt...thought i was late but apparently the bday boy was later than me. o.o
after dek came...had to wait for kint to come before they can give their pressie. x.x he's always late!!! -.- then went to meet lyn, serene, sharn and jojo at chinatown mrt (i seem to know all their names but sadly i dun really know them). went to tian jin lou to eat and random ppl started streaming in. i remember one was lite, one was banana (melana or something but i remember as banana, easier =x) and one was gigasu (or something like that).
then after eating we went to dhoby arcade to stalk~i mean look for arcade guy. =x but he wasnt there!!! =( nvm perhaps we were just suay today. just hope that he wasnt retrenched or something. but hey nvm loh he's just an eye candy. dun say until like one day never see will die or what loh. -.- oh yeah did i mention the piu gang now has a group necklace? the loansharks necklace. =x
damn tired...after that celine wanted to go to je mac to eat supper/dinner but kint last min pangseh us so she ended up da-baoing home to eat...=/
*thisismymagicaltale*
Thursday, October 23, 2008
had flu yesterday so i went home, ate med and slept at 830 (yes i know i'm a pig =x). totally forgot i had a movie date with sis today until she sms-ed me. x.x went for my annual rebond session in the morning and stoned for 3-4 hours. =/ wanted to trim my hair only but due to some complications i ended up with short hair and short fringe. -.-
then rushed home to have lunch and meet sis at plaza sing (i seem to be going there alot nowadays) to watch the movie butterfly lovers. to be honest i was expected to be touching(as in touching that touch, not kena molested that touch) and crying loh. but the first part was more of a comedy with that girl acting cute, and the later part was about them trying to act all tragic but failing badly. -.-
all in all...the movie was a huge disappointment. =( then went to have dinner at some hong kong-ish cafe. basically i ate instand noodles with egg and luncheon meat (though it's actually called soup noodles with egg and luncheon meat). tiring days...when got piu session at dhoby again?? =x
*thisismymagicaltale*
our rewards from fri...hohoho. dun mind the heart shapes pls. then a siao kia went to photoshop them in. -.- so shuai neh~T.T if any of u all can recognise him...please tell me so that i can take it off asap!
*thisismymagicaltale*
Saturday, October 18, 2008
had a tiring but quite fun day today. had my south asia paper early in the morning...then after sch went to meet up with celine at je mrt. when i reach le then she tell me actually can meet at buona vista de!! omg~ x.x anyway we had an ulterior motive in specially going to dhoby de arcade...hohohoho~ finally our tastes are the same eh. =D
when we first reached...he wasnt there. but nvm cos after we went back again he was there! xD ce ah i think SOMEONE jealous liao loh cos u got eye candy...LOL. anyway, din really want to go home. just wanted to sit there and sleep. was supposed to sneak glances but i was too shy le lah...see le whole face become hot liao...lolz. x.x celine even managed to tou pai him! even though very blur but still can see lah...haha.
then i became very hua chi. started giggling to myself nonstop while watching celine eat. =x hehheh...guess i haven been so openly hua chi for a very long time. perhaps not since the zxfc (even then i think i din have it so bad) =x yay so when want go dhoby again~~~=DDDD
for once i just want to be number one and not the substitute.
*thisismymagicaltale*
Thursday, October 16, 2008
THERE'S ONE JAY SONG ENTIRELY DEDICATED TO DORAEMON!
haha actually not really dedicated. =x that was just to grab ppl's attention. x.x but isnt it nice?? a song that combines 2 of the things i love most! omg~lolz. just watched the 時光機 mv and it was super cute lah...x.x
monday...we had psych lecture and guess who was the lecturer? yes it was the notorious TFF...who would be teaching stats next sem according to my seniors. =/ after the lecture celine attempted to drag me out for dinner but i din go cos i knew if i go i wouldnt do my paper and would end up not having enough sleep for tue...
i shall skip tue since i cant remember much except that it was a busy day. wed...had to hand in my jap essay. haix...the jap lectures and quizzes are getting more and more tricky! 永見先生はしんせいつせんせいじゃありません!T.T after sch i went to bunoa vista to meet kint and nearly got lost but luckily i still have some common sense to alight when most ppl alighted...xD i learnt a lesson today. do not ever attempt to take the mrt during peah hours. it's SUPER squeezy can! and u can see singaporean's kiasu spirit very clearly. -.-
when we reached far east plaza celine was still waiting for bus...we walked through all the floors and couldnt find anything for xin. =x so when celine said "dun need buy too nice one, buy more than one etc" we went to the first floor (again) and found a super super かわいいな shirt!! then we went to sit down along the sides of the wall (where the lights are. dun ask me how to sit cos i was worried about burning my butt too.) but before our butts even warmed up celine said she reach already. -.-
so we ended up walking around again...to find more things. hiak hiak...somemore all the way with me carrying my heavy bag! =( but nvm was quite satisfied with the things we bought. hehheh...then we went to eat dinner at kfc (cant remember much except celine saying "can u dun be chicken wing" to me. x.x) then on the way home on 105 i was listening to 933 and i heard jay's new song shi guang ji!! (yes that's the one about doraemon) =DDDD i'm sorry if this post seems boring cos actually i only wanted to blog about that song...=x
*thisismymagicaltale*
i'm really sick of guessing games. i guess the million-dollar question is: do u like me or do u not?
a stupid question considering i already know who u like.
went for PIU session again yesterday...surprisingly the thing that we spent the most thing on wasnt PIU. x.x anyway...before i met celine izu and kint at arcade i went to popular to look for jay's cd...cos i heard on the forums that it would be out on the 9th, then on fri night i saw the ad that says his cd will be out from that day onwards!! got me so happy sia. x.x but i went to cd rama and saw that it will only be out on the 15th...=(
when i reached there xin and kint were already playing. they shifted the PIU machine and at first i was wondering eh where did they go?? o.o anyway~after that game xin dar said she had to go back to work...x.x so the 4 of us continued playing. cant really remember much except that there was some kind of event at jec and when we attempted to go for dinner at pizza hut but it was fullhouse. T.T
so...we waited by going to play photohunt (i really cant remember how many times we played that yesterday). so we played played played...for some reason we got into photohunt's highscore! (i think cos they reset the machine hohoho) and then they wanted to put our name as PIU gang shuj! x.x so diu lian can for everyone to see my name there. =/ so i struggled and kena molested by 3 people!! omg. x.x but nvm i have long hands~muahahaha. did i mention i like to steal people's pokes? but izu kept stealing mine...T.T and SOMEONE kept trying to poke me while i was pressing! =.=
then we went for dinner...and by the time our food came it was already about 9. waited so long~and kept having wrong orders lol. i ate criss cross fries, mushroom soup and the chicken royale pasta...as usual. xD after eating we went back to arcade to play 2 rounds of PIU until they closed...then we went back to photohunt again. =x we stayed there till nearly 11pm and on the way home celine told me she wasnt expecting to come out for so long! x.x and she took pics of our high score...hiak hiak hiak.
my aim is to pass chimera at least by the next PIU session...oh yeah izu tried the beethoven turning part for the first time and she got more right than me! T.T shows how noob i am...but i expect i wouldnt have time to play at all this week till at least thur...=( nonetheless must still ask me okay! =D
*thisismymagicaltale*
Thursday, October 9, 2008
been wanting to blog for a few days but keep forgetting. x.x anyway, went to causeway point on mon to watch mirrors. i think it's only M18 cos of the F*** and not cos it's too scary loh. although there are some really gross and scary parts. ._. and somebody kept laughing at me cos i was doing what i usually do when watching horror movies (ie covering my face with the jacket) but hey i still saw everything i was supposed to see okay. =x
then i went back to sch for lecture...(yes u guessed it. PSYCH lecture. -.-) then went home and din do anything except chatting on msn. actually wanted to audi for awhile cos celine asked me to join the fam...but ended up chatting on msn till 4am. o.o only slept for 3hrs then had to go for eng test at 10. x.x dun know how i did it without falling asleep (or maybe i did). after that directly went for eng project group discussion. did i mention i din eat any breakfast?? so yeah i missed lunch again so i only ate one tiny sandwich for lunch. (the vending machine scam ppl one loh, on the pic the sandwich looked SO BIG then come out become so small. x.x)
so after my lessons and rp (which i stupidly put 1+hr after my last lesson) went to clementi to eat chicken rice for dinner. i already ordered extra rice but still not that full...was actually planning to buy char kuay tiao home after that but too paiseh liao...later they think i pig how?? T.T then wed...was in sch when celine sms me to go for piu session after sch...i really think i'm the worst now. even SOMEONE who started later than me now more pro le...haix. =/ no lah i dun actually hate him...i just wanna make a voodoo doll of him. =D
then while they were dancing (cos i got quite bored when i missed my bonus round repeatedly) i went to solo bball. omg lah by the time i got to 3rd stage my arms cant even lift the stupid balls. -.- no stamina. =( then went to try out the drums also. was supposed to take turns but celine died at first stage! sobs sobs. x.x after that had dinner at long john with celine kint and hl. (did i mention i was starvng? i cant help it if i have godly digestion rate...=x) then hl was acting shy and being all quiet and stalkerish while kint was entertaining us with his...shall we say disgusting or damn funny army stories.
after eating we went to play photohunt and the original plan was to die die stay there even if they going to close the place. snatching pokes is so fun!! xD haha no loh. dun blame me if u all reaction slow can. x.x i just happen to have THE magic finger. hiak hiak hiak...but i have to say lah, i really laughed till i stomach ache can. lol! haven laugh so hearily for so long already loh. i sense a comedian...lolz.
i think i will miss u too. just not as much as u want. =)
*thisismymagicaltale*
some ppl are just so narrow-minded. just cos they see a black char in audi, they assume i'm india or even a nigger (not sure how to spell it but i'm quite sure it's a rude way of addressing african-americans).
***************************************
woke up super early today to go sentose for beach volleyball with sis bro and his gf. ended up not playng for very long before i gave up due to the heavy rain and aching arms. by the time the rain stopped i was already drenched. so we ended up running in and out of the shelter with our bags before finally deciding to go for lunch.
volleyball isnt fun at all!!! x.x at first i thought it would be quite easy to play since the ball is actually quite light. but now i think i will need a cast for my arm especially for my thumb. =/ had lunch at food republic then went to mac to read before watching painted skin at vivo. not bad the show was quite touching...but there's one very anti-climax part. note spoilers ahead!!
the show was about a fox spirit in a human skin, xiaowei (zhou xun) being resuced by the general called chen shen (acted by chen kun i think) then she tried to seduce him even though he's already married to peirong (zhao wei). soon peirong suspects that xiaowei is actually a fox spirit who's killing ppl for their hearts so she approached her old friend pang yong (zhen zi dan) for help.
basically, near the end of the show, there was this part where the husband said alot of things before and killing his wife (cos he thought she was a demon). then while everyone was feeling very touched he actually said something very anti climax to the fox spirit!! "i love u, but i already have peirong". means what?? means his wife is duty nia lah? then why bother to save her just let her die loh. -.- somemore i think the director should just revive the wife and not the husband so that she can be with pang yong. =x
after movie rushed back home (i literally mean rushed cos sis was running through vivo) to meet bro and his gf for mahjong. i won $11++! hohoho. cos they were complaining i anyhow game so i do big big one loh...x.x
it's only until today that i fully realise how lucky we normally are to feel warm, have dry clothing and non-aching arms. cos i stood in the rain for around 1hr today in total while the cold wind blew past me. T.T i dun think i'm going to get drenched in the rain again anytime soon. and i missed a date with celine and dar for PIU! x.x
*thisismymagicaltale*
歌曲:下雨天 歌手:南拳妈妈
专辑:南搞小孩 作曲:张杰 作词:张杰
下雨天了怎么办
我好想你不敢打给你
我找不到原因
什么失眠的声音
变得好熟悉
沉默的场景 做你的代替
陪我听雨滴
期待让人越来越沉迷
谁和我一样等不到他的谁
爱上你我总在学会
寂寞的滋味
一个人撑伞 一个人擦泪
一个人好累
怎样的雨 怎样的夜
怎样的我能让你更想念
雨要多大
天要多黑 才能够有你的体贴
其实 没有我你分不清那些彻别
接近还能多一些
别说你会难过
别说你想改变
被爱的人不用道歉
期待让人越来越疲惫
谁和我一样等不到他的谁
爱上你我总在学会
寂寞的滋味
一个人撑伞 一个人擦泪
一个人好累
怎样的雨 怎样的夜
怎样的我能让你更想念
雨要多大天要多黑 才能够有你的体贴
其实 没有我你分不清那些彻别
接近还能多一些
别说你会难过
别说你想改变
被爱的人不用道歉
怎样的雨 怎样的夜
怎样的我能让你更想念
雨要多大
天要多黑 才能够有你的体贴
其实 没有我你分不清那些彻别
接近还能多一些
别说你会难过
别说你想改变
被爱的人不用道歉
describes my feelings very well. =x
*thisismymagicaltale*
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
i think celine is right. i should really stop emo-ing over ppl who arent aware of it (or even if they are aware, couldnt care less about it). thus i wont emo anymore in my blog but it's human nature to continue to hope no matter what happens, cos when someone's totally without hope he's as good as dead. i'll still be thinking of him, just perhaps without that pang everytime...
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had psych mcq test yesterday. it was much better than what i expected cos i was afraid that there would be alot of questions on bio. =x but luckily...perhaps...i may be able to pass. lolz x.x changed my blog song cos i heard it yesterday on 933. carmen pearl and celine may find it exceptionally familiar. =)
like what i told ppl around me these few days, i'm feeling quite happy nowadays being single. well beggars cant be choosers. when the only person u're longing for cant be with u one just has to be happy with her own company. OMG je arcade is closing down! die liao loh from now on no near places to play PIU liao. any other arcades must travel de loh. x.x
finished the philo paper (quite last min) and studying for psych but was quite stressed. so i resolved not to do any last-min work from now on. thus i shall make proper use of these 2 days hols and finish up my psych paper and study for jap test on fri. =x
*thisismymagicaltale*