haiyo...bidding starts today...ma go wake me up at 9am to start bid cos i told her it starts at 9. =.= starts at 9 doesnt mean i have to be stuck at the com since 9 mah...but managed to discover by myself how to bid. =x the talk din really teach us loh. i decided die die must get psychology. i dun care! at most give up econs loh. =x later dun get then funny liao loh. -.-
closed bidding starts tomorrow...since cant see the latest changes also no point sticking to the com lah. so my strategy is to just leave my bids at 1pm (that's when closed bidding starts) and just pray for the best. no point worrying myself. x_x shyt now psych already bidders > vacancies liao...zzz. maybe more updates later. =x
*thisismymagicaltale*
k after i got that super emo post out of my system i'm back to normal now. haix...today woke up super early to go squeeze on buses with ppl just to go to sch for some talk. x_x only slept 3+ hours! so tired...after the talk pei mt go buy laptop...wa so cheap and so good loh...regret buying mine too early but at least better than nothing mah. =) after that went to meet salty at bpp and fell asleep on the bus...too tired le lah. went there slack slack awhile...wanted go arcade de but even after renovation the arcade was still too small loh with limited games. -.-
then bought snacks and went to slack at her house...super hot! and she got a super cute dog...okok i'm afraid of dogs but only if i dun know them. i went in and her dog greeted me by licking my legs enthusiatically. abit *too* enthu if u ask me. lolz. but at least she's cute. =D then i patted her abit while salty went into her room and left me to my own devices. then we slacked talked ate and listened to music in her room.
hahaha she fierce until her dog dun dare go in her room loh. =x then went to her ma room to watch tv...the dog went to hide under the bed and "pei" us but went out halfway cos i think she feels she wasnt getting enough attention. =/ then before i left went to pat pat her somemore...i think she likes it!! haha i'm a natural patter. =) she comfy until she lie flat and floor and wagged her tail loh...so cute!! wanted to hug her de but scared she bite or scratch me or something. x_x
sianz...bidding officially starts tomorrow...sch starts officially next mon too but doesnt means lessons start too! yay 1 more week of slacking. =D but have to keep going back to sch for talks though...somemore the talks all so early de need wake up so early loh. =( haix if i cant get the exposure modules or the modules i want then die liao loh need plan new timetable AGAIN cos i lost my first one...haix~
okay i think i got the answer i want...i give up. =)
NOTE: this is going to be a highly emo post so pls refrain from reading if u think u cant take it.
have to wake up early again tmr for orientation talks but i dun know how i'm going to do that when i'm not even sleepy at 2am. tried to sleep but couldnt stop thinking about things. or shall i say ppl. just realised i haven really wrote an entry about how i really feel so i shall do so now. i will start from the beginning.
we got to know each other in sec3 when we got into the same class due to our subject combi. that time i only remembered him as the guy nominated to be class chairman but din get it. it wasnt until the end of the year that we began to sms and call each other at night. we dun talk much in sch, true, cos there werent much chances to do so. but i found myself looking forward to his sms-es and called every night. there was a specific period of time that he would call, so i know if he din call within that period it means he wont be calling that night. and i got disappointed almost every night. yet everything he did call or sms i would just feel this happiness which cant be described.
when i broke up with my first ex he was the one to comfort me. though we were together only for 2 weeks, it was saddening too due to the method of break-up the guy chose. ultimately i was the one who initiated it but i guess there was no point in carrying on after what he said to me. we got together during our sec4 year, just before our o lvls. i was worried initially that it would affect our studies but no, we just continued to see each other in sch, encouraged each other through sms-es and calls. it wasnt until the end of the exams that we went out on our first official date. we went to west coast park to fly kite cos i told him i haven flew kite since i was small. i cant remember that day other than the fact that i was floating on clouds the whole day, just spending time together with him makes me happy.
when the o lvls results were released, i threw a tantrum even though i knew i had no right to. he got 13 while i got 14 and his friends were encouraging him to go acjc but i planned to go jjc. i assumed that he would just go wherever his friends go since they were so close. but no, we ended up in the same sch and even took the same subject combi cos after the first 3 months i told him i cant take geog anymore. so passed our jc days...i still remember the racial harmony day when the whole class dressed up in indian traditional costumes and took pictures near the bball court. we were teased into taking a picture together...and i think it was that day we saw a rainbow together if i remembe correctly. cant really remember much of what happened in the past nowadays.
we were happy together the first year...getting through each day together, going to sch and lessons together...that year we were happy. purely and unreasonably happy. i'm not sure when things started to change subtly and we started quarreling. at first i thought it was nothing cos all couples quarrel but soon we started quarreling everyday over small things. we spent weekends at each others' house, spent christmas, valentine's day, birthdays together. i remembered the way we cried together when ur grandpa passed away. i felt guilty that u were with me and not with ur grandpa when we died. i know it was sudden and there was no way of predicting that would happen but i still blame myself for hogging u.
soon i began to feel suffocated. i asked u for a temporary break so that i wont feel so restricted anymore. but u refused. u promised to change and even alot of other things. but u never did. or maybe u did but as u said, i was too blind to see. i still remember the ring u bought me and the one which i lost. we tried so many times to buy couple rings but everytime one of us would lose it. maybe that's a premonition. i know i may not appear to care about the ring i lost, but i really did. cos it's the ring u bought me with the money u got from ur first pay. i really tried very hard to find it but somehow i just cant.
things got worse when u went to ns. i din mind not seeing u during weekdays cos i knew i needed some time alone too. but u got paranoid and started over-analysing everything i did. i couldnt go out with my friends without a thorough interrogation. u may say u did those things only cos u cared about me. i know u do. but how many times have i told u that i'm suffocating and u promised u would change? soon, i dun go out with my friends cos i dread the quarrels i know we would have. even if i did go out, i wont be happy cos i will be expecting a quarrel as soon as i get home. u complained about the time i made u wait for 3hrs when i went to wenen's house. but i've never asked u to wait for me...
isnt that just typical? u always do things that u think i want u to do or what u think a bf should do but u have never actually asked me whether i wanted u to do those things. u just assumed i did and when i appeared less than happy afterwards u would say i'm not appreciative...do u know u tended to sprout nonsense whenever we quarrel? they say even when couples quarrel they should also not say things till too jue so that the relationship can still be saved. however, how many times have u said hurtful things to me without even thinking or considering my feelings then apologising to me and asking me to forget about them? like i said, i can forgive but i can forget. i cant just delete my memories anytime like a computer.
ever since we broke up, my ma has been appalled by the way i appeared to be treating u. i dun know why she only ever sees my bad side and assume the worst of me. she can scold me for being heartless without even knowing what happened. i'm her daughter but in the end it appears that everything's simply my fault. but afterall i'm a human being and i'm made of flesh too. i'm not a machine made of metal that has no feelings at all. she scolds me for being heartless, cos afterall we were together for 2yrs+. but who knows if i cry alone at night? who knows if i hide and suffer alone? i thought a bf was supposed to watch over, care for, protect his gf and vice versa. but in the end u were the one who hurt me the most with both ur words and actons.
i dun want to go back to that kind of constand unhappiness again. even when i went out with friends i couldnt be happy. we would quarrel everyday and u would start spamming sms-es and calls even though u know i hate u to do that. ironic isnt it? i used to look forward to ur calls and now i dread them. the last thing u did to betray my trust was to give my number to a stranger, someone whom i dun even know and expect her to talk me to my senses. u should know me well enough. u've known me for almost 5 years and we were together for more than half that time. dun u know if i'm not even willing to listen to u, what makes u think i would listen to a stranger just cos she's a girl? the best i could do was to tell her to eff off in a polite way.
i told u i like another guy. but he's not the reason. more like the catalyst. u said i dun really like him, that i'm just hoping i like another guy cos i'm disappointed with u. the main reason was cos i had enough of being suffocated and restricted. u are a great guy and i think someday u would be a good bf. till now i'm still not sure of my own feelings towards that guy but it doesnt matter anyway since i dun think he likes me. no matter what, u would always have a special place in my heart (it always sound so corny when ppl say it on shows) as my ex, the best friend i had, the one who went through my jc days with me. i recently found a song which aptly describes my feelings but i shall quote the last line to u. "ru guo yao zou, qing ni ji de wo. ru guo nan guo, qing ni wang le wo".
cos i dun want to be with u and yet think of someone else
*thisismymagicaltale*
went to sch to collect my student card and ezlink card...then went back to jjc to get my a lvl cert and sgc thingy. nicer than i expected! then went je to buy that dress which i've been thinking about...went home and slept awhile till mt called me to meet them earlier at cck. went to watch the dark knight...super long movie leh like 150mins. nearly froze to death in the cinema. =x
was in quite a happy mood until i reach home...tsk as usual someone who dun even know anything shot her mouth off again. shall not say why sia cos i'm used to it already. got more orientation talks on tue and wed but i think i'm too lazy to go.
been so busy doing sch admin things these few days and getting so stressed that really feel like going bang wall!! so afraid later i miss out something or what loh...tmr need go register...can collect my new ezlink card with the super-ugly photo (cos i was lazy to go take a new one) le!! haix. dun know who came out with the idea of making us arrange our own timetables after choosing the modules we want. now somebody tells me the first day of sch actually aint 4th aug but it's the first week of oweek! x_x and the bidding actually starts on thur and not tmr...wa if end up sch start liao i still dun have any modules to take then really funny liao loh...-.-
okay like i said, i tried wearing contacts to k box with celine on sat...did i mention the box lunch at je really CMI? well if i din then i just said it. =.= she highlighted her hair purple...OMG LAH XIA DAO WO like an ahlian loh. -.- i want dye my hair red but i think i will kena killed by many ppl. =x stupid contacts made my eyes weird weird one. at least this time i had an easier time putting them in again. so far the shortest time taken is 20mins. =D tmr still must go collect cert worh...they say must collect within 2 weeks of receiving the letter but i think i drag more than 2 weeks liao. =x
i want go out for national day!! but then the 7th lunar month starts on the 1st of aug...means if i go out till late late how i go home alone??? =/ k maybe i shall go out and attempt to reach home before dark. =) any invitations???
*thisismymagicaltale*
went k box today and attempted to sing those songs which we have never sang at k box before...thus i remembered this song which i used to love long long ago.
From my youngest years
Till this moment here
I’ve never seen
Such a lovely queen
From the skies above
To the deepest love
I’ve never felt
Crazy like this before
Chorus:Paint my love
You should paint my love
It’s the picture of a thousand sunsets
It’s the freedom of a thousand doves
Baby you should paint my love
Been around the world
Then I met you girl
It’s like comming home
To a place I’ve known
Chorus:Paint my love
You should paint my love
It’s the picture of a thousand sunsets
It’s the freedom of a thousand doves
Baby you should paint my love
Since you came into my life
The days before all fade to black and white
Since you came into my life
Everything has changed...
at first i still thought who's MLTR sia. then i realise it's Micheal Learns to Rock!! OMG! lol. x_x touching song. =x sang alot other songs too...even heard some songs which are really meaningful de...time for another span-song session. =D
*realise everything i go out with celine very du lian one...end up doing funny funny things. -.-
tsk...seems like i'm making it a habit to blog early in the morning (it's 3+am now). oh well...by the way a gentle reminder to all readers...PLS TAG IF U READ MY BLOG LOH dun be like invisible ppl or what come see see nia then never tag one. i know alot of ppl who do that okay. =/
planning to go k box with celine tomorrow...(if she can wake up). naturally when we go out to do something, we would usually also end up going ddr and photohunt loh. =x hope tmr the ice skating rink there wont have ice hockey training! wa last time went there keep paranoid loh scared the thing fly out and hit me. =.= yay if tmr really going out can FINALLY try the contacts le...dun have any excuse not to liao. tsk dun know why i bought them when i'm just torturing myself nia...do u know how BLOODY LONG i have to spend in front of the mirror poking my eyes just to get those tiny things in!! =(
just hope that wont end up looking too weird...to sis (and bro) if u all are reading this...NO I'M NOT DRESSING UP FOR MY NEW BF OR WHATEVER U ALL THINK TOO MUCH! especially if the bro is reading this i tell u ah dun keep sabo me okay. later mama really think i got new bf then whole day NAG NAG NAG ME AGAIN!! then i will expose u in front of ur gf ah. =x
haix 3am liao still dun feel like sleeping...tmr still must wake up early in the morning at 930 to watch doraemon!! so long never watch liao so must not oversleep again!! recently addicted to fan fic again...finished one whole series within one day! okay i think my monologue skills getting better everyday...(and ppl wonder why i always sound like i'm talking to myself on my blog).
*thisismymagicaltale*
...dun ask me why i'm writing this at 1++am. think i slept too much this morning after i back from chalet so now i cant sleep!! keep thinking about things. -.- okay...shall blog about the series of unfortunate events surrounding the chalet. (LOL celine is going to kill me for this). she injured her big toe by kicking a stone and it bleed like mad!! at first i thought abit blood nia...then when she lifted her toe up i saw so much blood!! aiyo later she haven faint i already faint liao. =.="
then caused more injury to our butts by going night cycling!! so fun! can feel the wind...and dun need siam anybody cos whole place deserted de...hiak hiak...slept on mrt...suddenly jerked awake at dun know which stop...opened my eyes and saw alot ppl sia...xia dao wo. =x waved bye bye to zhimin and celine even wanted to go ddr lah! i was already half asleep le loh...x_x went home sleep then woke up then realise i sprained my feet...also dun know how sprain de loh.
if dun faster recover how i go cycling all those!!! somemore if get worse must limp limp limp to the sinseh there let him fix...ouch! =x
when will my feet recover. =(
*thisismymagicaltale*
just came back from chalet and my butt hurts like mad!! x_x although i only went for last night and this morning it was quite okay i guess. just that not used to going chalet with more than half of them being strangers. ._. microwaved sausages for supper at night and i was quite fascinated...that it din explode. =x then went for night cycling...so fun! we even found a playground and stayed there playing swing and singing (attempting to) "teardrops on my guitar" without knowing most of the lyrics. o.o
then we cycled back...quite an adventure lah cos we "almost" got lost. went back...slack around abit and played with a huge colourful blow-up ball. also tried to play basketball but the hoop was like...-.- then around 3 went for night cycling again...this time used a different bike cos i lent someone mine. make my butt hurt!! haven recover from sunday leh...so fast add more injuries. =( after cycling nothing to do AGAIN so we eventually went to sleep...nothing to do mah...LOL go for less than one full day and end up sleeping at chalet. -.-
oh yeah must not forget about our cycling adventure!! the first time we only cycled around pasir ris park and i was trying to remember where was the haunted spot so that we wont go there. =x but anyway din really see any funny funny thing lah...oh! Jung was leading and she suddenly say got a man with a dog so asked us to be careful...turned out to be a couple. ._. the second time we went out of the park and went to hai sing (dun know secondary or primary) sch. along the way we passed by those hdb rubbish chutes...THERE WAS ALOT OF XIAO QIANGS!!! maybe i squashed some. =/
almost ended up sleeping at the bus stop at 4am cos chenyeh say it's cool to sleep at bus stops...listened to them gossip awhile since i dun even know WHO are they talking about. i love gossiping...=D
oh yeah forgot to mention the list of things i wish to do...hopefully before sch starts? =x
1. cycling AGAIN (this time i want cycle till shuang one and not go ecp cycle like siao with the rough roads and slopes!! pasir ris park is a much nicer venue.)
2. k box...
3.more badminton
4.basketball!! i miss u!! come back to mama. =D
*thisismymagicaltale*
oops. i deleted my previous super agitated post. =x hope that nobody saw it eh? x_x so high so high so high!! going for chalet later le...although staying for one night nia. =x i'm not going to sleep tonight!! yay. =DDD officially allowed not to sleep. =/
oh yeah found out that mac no longer sell the spicy nuggets. =( let's have one min of silence to mourn for my poor never-to-be-eaten nuggets shall we?
....................................................................
okay i think that's enough of my craziness and randomness. =x
i miss u!
*thisismymagicaltale*
did u really have to do all this? was there a need to give ur junior my number so that she can "talk" to me? what makes u think i will appreciate having a stranger know my number and having her "talk" to me? u should be glad i din give her a more colourful version of f*** off. just leave me alone cant u? aint 18 months of unhappiness enough for u? it was certainly enough for me and i have no wish to repeat everything again.
isnt it funny how my ma consoles u instead of me? indeed there's no need for her to console me cos i dun really feel sad. just really miss all those memories we had but i know i haven been happy since very long ago. u know what she said? "u very jian qiang one mah dun need me to console...nothing will happen to u de mah..." and my response was "okay then i go jump down someday and see how u regret it." but nah...i'm not really so stupid to go jump down just to prove something.
it's not that i'm strong. it's just that i dun like to show ppl my weaknesses cos they can always use it against me. when u care about someone u are the most vulnerable cos they, or others, can always use that against u.
the feeling of liking someone is really very sweet. oh well even if it's one-sided at least i know i wont get hurt.=)
*thisismymagicaltale*
ahahahahaha so happy!! finally got all the pent up energy inside me gone! yay! i know i said this before but i'm just so sporty! went for badminton yesterday and then today went ecp to cycle. although i gave up like after 30mins. =x all i remember was that we kept resting. i hate going up slopes!! nearly fell backwards sia. x_x then my poor bag kena friction-ed by the wheel till got one tiny hole. =(
quite cheap leh bicycle rental one hr $6 then one-hour-get-one-hour free. = 2hrs $6 nia...but the bikes abit lan bong one leh cos i heard all kinds of weird weird sounds coming from the bike while i was cycling. well at least i got home in one piece. =.= so good to feel the wind blowing against me. the sight of the sea is really refreshing. even went to peep at ppl fishing to see whether they got fish tio any fish. =x
oh yeah before we managed to go to ecp we went to imm and played photohunt till we went crazy and started picking out differences in real life objects. -.- then went to play ddr (again). argh my poor legs!! haix i'm definitely going to end up with terrible muscle aches tomorrow. =(
out of the pot and into the fire
went to bedok sports hall for badminton with sis, bro-in-law, bro and his gf and sis' friend and his wife. (yeah i was the odd one out). so fun!! haven played badminton for so long and i really missed it. =) who's up for more badminton/basketball/squash sessions?? =D then went back to sis house for steamboat...suffice to say that at least i din starve to an untimely death. =x
went for "dry swimming" after steamboat...won $17++! yay. =D reached home at the ungodly hour of nearly 1am and woke up with a crippled arm. x_x wasnt until i sat down then i realise actually my legs are crippled too. luckily today din have *too* vigourous activities planned...
i really really miss sports!
*thisismymagicaltale*
finally, at the ungodly hour of 3.13am i manage to get my blog to look the way i want. hopefully blogger isnt going to crash soon ah. =x MUCH THANKS TO SALTY!! for teaching me to solve my html problem. now it's finally complete with music, tagboard and the falling-snow thingy i've always wanted!! yay time to sleep. =)
*thisismymagicaltale*
blogger hate me. that's all i can say. come to that, i think ebloggy hates me too. that explains my shift to blogger. actually i have a blogger blog since looooooooong looooooong ago. just that i lazy go shift everything here. =x anyway...2 things "forced" me to shift de loh. 1. ebloggy always down for some reason so that even i cant access to write my blog!! by the time they fix everything i already forget what i wanted to write le loh. ._. 2. the template i chose dun allow editting in ebloggy. was supposed to find another one but...somehow i CANT SAVE THE HTML THINGY! so if any of u all knows how to save (that stupid thing) pls tell me. help much appreciated. =x
yesterday went out with celine again...was supposed to go toa payoh central to look for cheap cheap clothes and shoes cos i saw one shop that's recommended in cleo...i even wrote the shop name and address down on paper loh. just too bad that i lost the paper and thus din bring it. T_T so we wandered around there for awhile...then celine went to eat mac cos there wasnt any kfc in sight. o.o muahahaha...after that we went to bugis (i think, cant really remember cos we went alot of places) de bugis street cos she say there got alot of cheap things. that trip really opened my eyes big big lah. O.O saw so many shuai ges and mei nus there. =x even saw a bad-attitude salesperson loh. so rude to the customers. luckily not to me. =x din buy anything here except celine bought 4 pairs of earrings and more ear studs...some of the earrings are just so beautiful that i regret letting my earholes close. =( nvm there are always clip-ons right...=/
then we went to plaza sing. initially wanted to walk from bugis to plaza sing but i realised i only know how to walk to marina square from there cos i walked there once (i have super good memory!). so when we started walking...celine asked "eh this direction is go plaza sing de meh? or marina square de?" O.O good that she said early loh...end up going back to take mrt. heng haven walk yet. i think she nearly vomited blood by this point cos in the end i suggested going back to je...by this time it was around 7+? =x shop shop shop, then we went to arcade (again). had fun playing ddr!! yay! =D finally reached home at the ungodly hour of 10++...=.=
*note i think my blog's just going to remain like this for the time being until i figure out how to save the st**id layout!! =(
*thisismymagicaltale*