Thursday, August 13, 2009
i shall pretend my hands are not shaking as i type this.
i dun know how to say this. all the way from sch to the office, i was thinking of all kinds of worst scenarios. all of them involved u doing/saying something to break my trust, and wondering just what happened, going sick with worry and apprehension. but in the end, it was my intergrity/honesty that was being doubted. and as is the case with all things unexpected, it's what u dun guess/expect that kills u.
when someone ask me something, no matter who they are or what the question is, my first response would always be "Why?". to think i would be judged cos of this. cos i want to know what is their motive/reason in asking and whether i should tell them the truth or avoid the topic totally. i dun know how many times i've said this, but i dun lie. especially not about something as life-changing/important as this. and since we're on this topic, i din expect something like this to be so important to u. but u know what? it's not something that u should be concerned about anymore cos it's none of ur business. not anymore.
i thought i was the one who needs to learn how to trust. i thought by being always honest with ppl, they would take my words seriously and believe me. well that just goes to show what i know like i said, when i give my trust, i expect the same thing in return.
我还能说什么？你一开始就已经判了刑，还来问我干什么。。。
thank u for teaching me another very valuable lesson. time for stronger, thicker walls, stronger, better defences... =)
笑着流泪，that's what i'm best at anyway.
the worst part about being unhappy isnt being alone with no one to help u bear it, it's being upset inside yet unable to show it outside. which was what i did all the way from sch to my office. and i still have 3hrs before i can go home...
i'm just glad this happened before i did anything stupid.
for ur own sake, i hope u dun appear later. geminis hold grudges remember?
*thisismymagicaltale*