Wednesday, September 10, 2008
as i walked home from sch last night...i told myself it doesnt matter if we cant be together. sooner or later, i wont feel for u in a special way. even if i do, i'll just accept it and the fact that...the one u like isnt me. i even told myself "hey i think i'm getting used to it already!" however, ppl always say that when they say "time heals all wounds", they dun mean that they pain or misery will get any lesser. it's just that usually ppl either learn to deal with it so much so that they become a part of their lives, or the pain becomes dull.
it's not something easily forgotten. even if ur brain allows u to forget, ur heart wont. and everytime u see the person, u would feel as if u received a physical blow to the heart. i realise that actually i'm not as big a part of ur life as i would like to be. if i even have a part in it at all. we dun even talk, go out, msn or sms regularly. during the rare times when we do go out...u rarely talk to me unless necessary anyway. instead i have to stand by and watch u talk to others happily while i envy them. so i've decided...no more such outings with u anymore.
ppl always say that u dun need to have a reason to like someone. and really, when ppl ask me for my reason, i cant answer them...but anyway, it doesnt matter anyway since it's purely one-sided...isnt it foolish of me to fall headlong into this mess when i knew right from the start that...the one u like isnt me. i really regret letting u have such a huge role in my life although u certainly din ask for it. it's just that...it's really disheartening to know that someone u like can treat u as if u're just passer-by A, just another face he sees around...talks to when he's free...etc. yet at the same time u're thinking of him at the weirdest times.
i dun know what's the point of this post actually. sometimes i really want to ask u about ur life ie what's happening, anything interesting happening lately...but i feel that i'm not even a friend who has the right to ask such questions. haix...
i guess that's enough of my ranting.
/emo
*thisismymagicaltale*