Friday, September 26, 2008
a blister which i din even know existed exploded today while i was dancing PIU. -.- then had to dance and dun let my toe touch the ground. damn pain. had to home super slowly...then after playing chatted with celine and xin at je mrt. halfway through i started to emo and stone again...lol. x.x
i guess it's time to let go of certain things and certain ppl. i was stupid an naive to think that someone whom i dun even know that well from maple could become someone special to me. instead of spending my time constantly thinking about someone who obviously cant be bothered, i would be much better off concentrating on those who makes an effort.
i've unblocked u but i dun think it would make any difference.
Thursday, September 25, 2008
had a good game of bball today...although only played for 1hr but not bad already okay considering i haven touched it for years! =D
© Jeff Thomas // Azuzephre
it has been a week since i decided to disappear from ur life...sometimes i wonder if u even noticed it? perhaps not...but at least i know that i stuck to my decision.
i have lots of love to give but no one to give it to...
Sunday, September 21, 2008
きのう ともだちと えいがを みました。
lolz. anyway here's the spoilers...i was quite tempted to leave halfway through the movie. =x there are 4 stories altogether...
1st one: a girl who has injured her leg in a car accident 3 months ago suddenly received an annonymous sms on the 100th day. so she started chatting with that guy. however, when she tried to find his partculars online and when she called the number nobody answered. then she read an article that says parents of the dead put a cell phone inside the son's casket so that he wont be bored.
she actually took a picture of herself in her house to show to the guy. it turns out that guy was just beside her. he said that he was going to find her (this part was damn scary in the theater). the girl ended up falling from her balconey when she saw the guy suddenly appear in the dark. turns out that the guy commited suicide when his gf broke up with him by standing in the path of an incoming taxi. the taxi happened to be the one the girl was in...
2nd one: (OMG lah this one is the scariest. x.x) there was a group of students (4guys 2 girls i think) who liked to bully another guy by beating him up, insulting him etc cos that guy exposed that they were smoking weed and got them expelled. so the guy who got bullied was feeling very 不服氣 and he used black magic to attempt to get back at them. once u see a picture that is of ppl who died with their eyes open, u're cured to die.
so all the friends started dying, and even the one who was bullied died cos of his own black magic. (u wont want to know how they died) then lastly there was this girl who din look at the picture or bully him. she just stood by while her friends bullied him. then the ghost was trying to force her to look at the picture...at the crucial moment...she digged her eyeballs out. now i know why this show's nc16...T.T
3rd one: this one is damn funny. not that scary actually. there was 4 friends who went camping in the forest. then they talked about ghost stories in their tent and one of the guys A actually said "if i happen to die in an accident i'll come back to haunt the one who sleeps in the middle first." (cos there was this guy who was afraid to sleep on the edge). the next day they went rafting and the boat capsized. so guy A ended up dying. but at night he came back and even slept in their tent. so the other guys tried to tell guy A that he's already dead and ask him not to bother them anymore.
turns out that they were all dead cos guy A led them to the spot in the river where they all saw their own bodies. x.x the funny part is when 1 of the friends told the one who was scared this: "the ending of titanic is when the girl sits on top of the guy's shoulders" (combination of titanic and shutter LOL).
4th one: ooo this one is creepy can. there was this air stewardess. there was a princess who wanted the crew to be exactly the same as the one she had when she went on her honeymoon with her husband. she was rumored to be physically abused and that her husband had a new favourite. the princess started making things difficult for the stewardess cos somehow she found out that the stewardess was her husband's mistress. the princess then told her about how women who have affairs with married men are punished in her country. "they are stoned to death by the villagers, and then just before she dies she must beg for forgiveness from the wife of the man she slept with."
then the princess was found to be dead in the hotel room that night. so the stewardess had to transport her body back again. then there was many scary scenes with the body...anyway, the stewardess ended up dead, in front of the body, kneeling and with her head twisted almost 180 degrees backwards so that she was still facing up. creepy neh~ =/
Friday, September 19, 2008
time to do that pic tag thingy...
1. The age you will be on your next birthday
2. A place you'd like to travel to.
3. Your favourite place
even better with cheese! =D
5. Your favourite pet animal.
6. Your favourite colour combination.
7. Your favourite piece of clothing.
8. Your all time current favourite song.
see lah who was the one who got me addicted. -.-
see lah who was the one who got me addicted. -.-
9. Your favourite TV show (currently).
10. The first name of your significant other/crush.
my one and only~xD
11. The town you live in.
12. Your first job.
13. Your dream job.
14. A bad habit you have.
15. Your worst fear.
16. One thing you'd like to do before you die.
i'm so addicted!!! ahhhhh. see lah celine. -.- met with xin for the first time today...when i reached they were already dancing. =x i dun care by next time i MUST pass "hard" level de beethoven. and now i'm addicted to that song too. x.x lalalalala~ i'm so addicted!! (why isnt there a swooning emoticon?)
now my feet hurt. played ddr twice and countless times of piu nx. (ha i like calling it piu~) it's not that i din want to talk to xin okay. i'm just shy. T.T must give me time to warm up de mah. =x next time we go play again okay!! ahhh~~
Thursday, September 18, 2008
2 days of zibi-ing has made me better...and the crapping with random ppl. even received a funny and touching mail on fb. thanks guys. =) to swatsd: even though i haven seen some of u for quite long (as opposed to mt whom i see everyday, but dun worry i still love u. come give me a kiss. xD) i still miss the rv days okay~
haha...and to celine and pearlyn: (why does this sound like i'm making my will or something? o.o ) known u ppl for 6-7 years...lao peng you liao worh! =x so when are we finally going out?? T.T to salty: remember our horror movie date! =D and to the other 2...thanks for being the random ppl i crapped (not literally) with. ^^
so...i'm finding ppl for watching 4bia this weekend. contact me if u're interested k. horror movie watch with few ppl very scary de. x.x shall be very free for the whole next week! (okay maybe not considering i need to study. x.x)
*oh yeah celine if u're waiting for me to do that pic quiz post u have to wait till i find all the pics first. =/
如果你發現我從此從你的生命中消失了，那是我做的決定。。。
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
© Jeff Thomas // Azuzephre
so true. i find that talking crap to random ppl on msn does help. =)
Monday, September 15, 2008
i was actually feeling quite happy and optimistic about things generally today.
but life's like that. just when u've deceived urself into believing maybe, perhaps, everything will work out the way u want them to, u're forced to face up to reality.
that's what just happened to me. i'm a contradictory person. i say i'm a cynic, and i really am. but i cant hide that small part of me that still hopes. i watched a korean/jap show recently (i cant even remember the name or what is it about) but i remember this line "it isnt embarrassing or shameful to experience one-sided love. it's only scary when u no longer crave for love."
my biggest mistake was giving myself hope. the higher the expectations, the greater the disappointment.
是時候忘記你了。
Sunday, September 14, 2008
went to aunt's house last night for mid-autumn festival...had fun lighting candles with my nephews and cousins. =D that baby above is my super cute 3-year-old (i think) nephew. xD camera shy sia keep moving...=x
to mt: i still haven scanned the comics we did on fri cos...i'm lazy to figure out how to use it. =.= apparently i'm too old to play with candles (sounds familiar much celine?) cos even my 17-year-old cousin also dun want play anymore. hey but at least i stopped at playing candles okay. i din bring the doraemon lantern my uncle brought for me downstairs hoh. T.T
went to play squash with sis in the morning...think the squash team having their training lah so many ppl and so paiseh. especially when i keep hitting the metal part VERY loud. (sis dun u think it's time u start tagging instead of just stalking me?)
was supposed to go arcade with sw nat carmen on fri actually...but by the time we finished eating and watching the movie it was 11 already. =x nvm next time okay! miss the rv days when we chiong-ed there after sch and sneaked inside je arcade in sch uniform. x.x DDR FTW! =D
Saturday, September 13, 2008
went to watch hanadan-final (i copied this name from the official website =x. it's the hua yang nan zi show lah) with sw carmen and nat today. this entry shall mostly be about the movie...haha so many "feedbacks" about it. =x
i cant really remember the details though...but i can roughly remember those lines that really made an impact on me and made half the females in the theater go "aw..." (actually i went "aw..." too in my mind but at least i din say it out can). -.-
eg..."fat or ugly, i would still love u." there was a pause here while everyone go "aw so sweet~".
but he broke the charm by saying "after all, i din fall for ur looks". =x spoilers ahead! remember the part where he said "aisheteru" and can tell he really means it!! means he good actor lah. T.T anyway...the whole movie was quite touching lah. even when shancai had her doubts about marrying daoming si and whether they would be happy together, daoming si still firmly believed that he can give her happiness...
makes people envy them actually. and i agreed with what that old guy said. "if u couldnt get through that, then u werent meant to be together anyway." quite true. true love should be able to withstand anything. this show makes me believe in happily ever afters and fairy tales again. yeah it may be just a movie...but it's the way people see it that's important. although the happy ending was expected, i dun think i would really want to watch a romance movie with a sad ending no matter how cynical i am.
all in all...what i'm trying to say is...i still believe in fairy tales. there was a scene in las vegas where the background was a water fountain that changes according to music...dun know how to describe lah but i found the atmosphere very romantic okay.
the next time i watch fireworks it would be with someone i like and who likes me back too. =)
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
as i walked home from sch last night...i told myself it doesnt matter if we cant be together. sooner or later, i wont feel for u in a special way. even if i do, i'll just accept it and the fact that...the one u like isnt me. i even told myself "hey i think i'm getting used to it already!" however, ppl always say that when they say "time heals all wounds", they dun mean that they pain or misery will get any lesser. it's just that usually ppl either learn to deal with it so much so that they become a part of their lives, or the pain becomes dull.
it's not something easily forgotten. even if ur brain allows u to forget, ur heart wont. and everytime u see the person, u would feel as if u received a physical blow to the heart. i realise that actually i'm not as big a part of ur life as i would like to be. if i even have a part in it at all. we dun even talk, go out, msn or sms regularly. during the rare times when we do go out...u rarely talk to me unless necessary anyway. instead i have to stand by and watch u talk to others happily while i envy them. so i've decided...no more such outings with u anymore.
ppl always say that u dun need to have a reason to like someone. and really, when ppl ask me for my reason, i cant answer them...but anyway, it doesnt matter anyway since it's purely one-sided...isnt it foolish of me to fall headlong into this mess when i knew right from the start that...the one u like isnt me. i really regret letting u have such a huge role in my life although u certainly din ask for it. it's just that...it's really disheartening to know that someone u like can treat u as if u're just passer-by A, just another face he sees around...talks to when he's free...etc. yet at the same time u're thinking of him at the weirdest times.
i dun know what's the point of this post actually. sometimes i really want to ask u about ur life ie what's happening, anything interesting happening lately...but i feel that i'm not even a friend who has the right to ask such questions. haix...
i guess that's enough of my ranting.
/emo
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
so...i used to have those random bouts of cold sweat, giddiess and nausea. i thought i was cured of it since it haven happened to me for a long time. x_x apparently not. was supposed to go to sch super early today for my eng discussion group. managed to walk to the bus stop and starting cold sweating like mad. had no choice but to walk back home and sms-ed my groupmated to tell them i will be in sch late.
tsk. oh well. better to avoid fainting on the streets or something.
Monday, September 8, 2008
current mood = irritated. piles of homework and readings make me cranky. sis came home to visit and brought mooncakes yesterday. and i finally got her wedding photos! considering it has been 3 months since she got married...=.= so i spent ages making a video of the wedding day, uploading the photos to my com, friendster and facebook...then i wanted to upload the video to my blog and it keeps having problems!! oh well. guess it's just not fated. =(
going to be a hectic week...did i mention i hate odd weeks?? especially when i have a busy day on tue...lessons from 10 to 6!! zzzzz... and then have to spend more time catching up on all my readings...die liao loh. this weekend going play squash again with sis and probably her husband and bro.
oh yeah how can i forget about wed. O.O just bought new shoes and a new top...hopefully pearl and celine wont last min pangseh me ah. =x
Friday, September 5, 2008
just discovered that koizora got the drama version too! too bad the first episode only out yesterday. but so far quite interesting!! =D
rock: i can think too!
fish: oh really?! hi!! :)
rock: i din know fish can talk! O.O
fish: diao!
rock: fish is being so dao...i hope u become fried fish soon!
RAWR!
rock: TALK TO ME!!
fish: i said hi just now!
rock: i wasnt talking to u. i meant that tree there!
....
tree: fish come back!! come back~~~
rock: yeah come back!! i have lots of worms here for u~~
fish: goldfish dun eat worms! or at least i'm picky! bye!!
rock: now it's just the 2 of us left, tree.apparently we were very bored during the later half of today's philo lecture. today's topic was whether rocks have souls and thoughts (i just simplified the whole thing according to how i understand it =x) and tada! this comic was born. =)
does anyone know how hard it is to go to sch with muscle ache in the legs? so many **** stairs to climb. -.- nearly toppled backwards somemore...=( now we know how come me and sis saw policemen in sch on wed. apparently recently there has been cases of thefts of laptops (how stupid can ppl actually be?? using laptops to chop places in the canteen! -.-) and outrage of modesty.
Thursday, September 4, 2008
suddenly everybody's msn nicks appear so emo.
went to cwp today to watch wall-e with salty. before that we went to pizza hut (again) to eat our usual things lol. =x the movie quite touching actually. quite amazed that even robots have simple feelings and loyalty. i thought the "gf" was supposed to be very cold de but i think in the end she also kena touched by him. =/
after that went to arcade to play. had to wait very long for ppl to finish playing house of the dead 4. lost at both hockey and foosball. x_x tried out jurrasic park again and this time i actually managed to die later than her. =x
after playing had to rush home cos was supposed to reach home by 630 since she said she coming around that time. reached home at around 730. T.T wanted to sleep at 830 de loh then kena dragged to play!! cant really remember what i supposed to write liao...T.T
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
was trying to find stories that would restore my faith in fairy tales and "happily ever after"s. i dun not believe in happy endings. i just dun believe that they would happen to me. anyway...i found this. bolded parts are those i found especially meaningful.
Years ago I asked God to send me a wife, for the Bible says “you have not because you ask not“. I told the Lord not just that I wanted a wife but even explained to him the kind of wife I was looking for.
I told him I wanted someone who is kind, tender, gentle, compassionate, loving, sincere, peaceful, generous, affectionate, understanding, passionate, warm, intelligent, humorous, sensual, and trustful. I even mentioned things I wanted her to be physically. And as time passed, I would add more things to this list of my heart desire for a wife.
Then one night in prayer God spoke to my heart and said... “Son I can not give you what you've asked me for.“ I said, “Why not Lord?“ He replied, “For I am a just God and a God of righteousness and all I do is just and right.“ I said, “Lord, I don't understand why I cannot have what I have asked you for.“
He replied, “Then I will explain. It would not be just and right for me to grant to you your wish for I cannot give unto you something that you are not yourself. It would not be fair for me to grant unto you a person that is loving if you can sometimes be hateful, or someone that is kind if you can also be mean, someone that is a forgiver and yet you can still carry a grudge, someone that is sensitive and you are yet so insensitive... etc.
He said unto me, “Instead of wasting time trying to find someone or hoping that I will give you someone with all these qualities you seek, you should rather allow me to take this time to allow you to become all it is that you are looking for. For I cannot give to you that which you are not.“
“And if you allow me to work up on your spirit and to shape and mold your heart as I choose then when you see the one I have for you, you will be able to say like Adam said... “She is bone of my bone and she is flesh of my flesh“ for you will see yourself in her for you both will be one flesh.“
Keep this in mind.This is for all:the recently married;the ones who have been married;the soon to get married;and the ones that are still looking.God made woman from man's rib --not from his head to top him,nor from his feet to be walked upon;but from his side to be his partner in life,from under his arm to be protected by him,and from near his heart to be loved by him.Whether or not you believe in God, much of the above still applies.
--------------------------------------------
The Talk
Boy: I need someone to talk to.
Girl: I'm always here for you.
Boy: I know.
Girl: What's wrong?
Boy: I like her so much.
Girl: Talk to her.Boy: I don't know. She won't ever like me.
Girl: Don't say that...you're amazing.
Boy: I just want her to know how I feel.
Girl: Then tell her.
Boy: She won't like me.
Girl: How do you know that?
Boy: I can just tell her...
Girl: Well just tell her.
Boy: What should I say?
Girl: Tell her how much you like her.
Boy: I tell her daily.
Girl: What do you mean?
Boy: I'm always with her...I love her.
Girl: I know how you feel. I have the same problem...but he'll never like me.
Boy: Wait. Who do you like?
Girl: Oh, some boy.
Boy: Oh, she won't like me either.
Girl: She does.
Boy: How do you know?
Girl: Because who wouldn't like you?
Boy: You.
Girl: You're wrong. I love you.
Boy: I love you too.
Girl: So are you going to talk to her?
Boy: I just did.
sooooo...went sch (super) early this morning to meet sis for squash. so i alighted at arts as usual and walked to src. i've always thought it's very near to walk from arts to src or arts to science that's why i dun take buses (partly it's cos i dun know where to alight also). BUT today i felt like i was dying while walking. so many things to carry!! T.T
then we started playing...and muahahahaha i managed to trash her!! =x okok later she paiseh. =/ so i played nice and hit very nice balls for her...serve till i tired leh. =x next time go play again okay! (nan de find something i can trash her at of cos must hao hao utilise it can)
then went for lessons...supposed to eat yong tau foo after squash but only left 10mins and the deck was super crowded. x_x oh and i forgot to mention that i went to look for the anime society thingy but i cant find the booth!! so who wants to go with me again to get the qian? it's until this fri only neh...x_x
kept feeling like sleeping during lessons who asked me wake up so early. =x so much so that...i feel like eating dinner now and directly go and sleep after that. especially since i have to wake up SUPER early again tmr to help memo train. x_x
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
those ppl i know always dun update their blogs thus i have nothing to read. yay yay yay squash tmr! hope i'm not too rusty. =x hopefully will get to go to the natsu matsuri in sch. obviously different version than the one outside lah but better than nothing mah! i want go and get the
Omikujis. =D
i really have nothing to blog about. my life's too boring. x_x everyday consists of lessons and hw nia. =x maybe more later. o.o
Monday, September 1, 2008
k since celine asked me to update...(u better update too loh)
though lecture starts only at 6 today i reached sch by 430 cos i wanted to go pay and confirm my booking for the squash court on wed...i alighted at engineering cos i thought nearer to walk to src from there than from arts mah. so i walked walked walked...and ended up at raffles hostels. o.o so i panicked and called nattie...(she's my personal street directory u see) but she wasnt helpful at all loh. =( "i'm in arts not engineering" -.-
finally reached src...then walked to bus stop and wait for mt. meanwhile stoned for 30mins there. =x then met gerine and together we stoned while waiting...btw i think i now have a new nick called shi tou aka stone aka rock. (THE rock muahahaha) lecture today was okay...nearly fell asleep at first but not after i started taking ntoes. x_x
yay going play squash on wed...finally loh after 1year + of not playing. sure rusty till siao. T.T today chatted with zef and benben on msn before going to sch. apparently zef's coming to sg and msia soon worh and i have to be his tour guide. x_x siao loh later both get lost. then benben kept showing me all those guai guai (actually quite funny lah =x) videos zzzz.
I WANT TO WATCH WALL E AND HUA YANG NAN ZI FINAL!!
